


Embarrassing Situations

by jojogirl



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Embarrassment, M/M, Porn, Rimming, Whipped Cream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:01:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23035186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jojogirl/pseuds/jojogirl
Summary: David and Patrick stumble their way through some of life's really embarrassing stuff!
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 6
Kudos: 49





	Embarrassing Situations

**Author's Note:**

> Not every relationship is perfect. Shit is going to happen. I just thought I would write a little bit about shit happening!

They were going hot and heavy in room number six of the motel. They didn’t do that here very often. David assured Patrick, Alexis was at Ted’s and Moira and Johnny had gone to Elm Dale for dinner. Ray was home so that was not an option for what David planned to do to his boyfriend tonight.

They shed their clothes and David had Patrick’s cock deep in his throat humming. Patrick was sweating and mummering to David, “Yeah, just like that, take that cock.” David was so good at sucking cock and loved reducing Patrick to a puddle with his mouth every chance he got.

David pulled off and reached for the lube in his nightstand. “Gonna get you off so good baby, can’t wait for you to come down my throat.”

Patrick was on board. “Yeah, David, do it, get your fingers in me now!”

David lubed up his fingers and just as he was breaching his hole, Patrick moaned, he moaned so loud neither one of them heard the door to room seven open.

Patrick’s abs tightened just as David breached him with his finger and the adjoining door burst open, “David, are you home?”

“Oh, my fucking god!”

**********

It was a busy day, that was a good thing. Customers were coming out of the woodwork to shop. Patrick was helping a group of geriatrics with the cat hair scarves and David was busy with a young mom with a toddler she had wrangled into the front door of the store with stroller.

The older ladies were fawning over Patrick, and David was used to that. He had a good old boy next door charm that worked for him.

He just wished they could switch, because he wasn’t doing as well with the mom and toddler. She was inquiring about skincare, which was David’s specialty. But as David was inquiring about her routine and what she was currently doing, the lady kept looking everywhere except David. She was fussing with the toddler, who was amazingly cooing and seemed to be just happy hanging out in the blanket wrapped arrangement he was swaddled in.

Finally, she settled on a cleanser, toner and moisturizer. He was trying to upsell her on the exfoliater when she said, “I think I will go with this for now.” Ducking her head into her purse for her wallet.

David rang up her purchase, put her items in a Rose Apothecary tote and wished her, and reluctantly the toddler to have a good day!

David went to the stock room for a drink of coffee and came back out to the front as Patrick was sending the blue hairs out the front door.

Patrick looked up at David, “That was…” he paused. “That was what?” David replied.

Patrick laughed, what the fuck was he laughing at? Patrick reached down under the counter for the box of tissue they had stored there, pulled one out, handed it to David and said, “Babe, take this to the bathroom.”

David took the tissue, made the walk of shame to the bathroom and, “Oh my fucking God!” How could he have not known that was hanging out of his nose! Oh, my fucking god!

**********

Rose Apothecary had a big month, they, as Patrick like to call it, “Made their nut!” They had exceeded their projections for the month and Patrick wanted to take David to celebrate.

They decided on a Chinese restaurant in Elm Glenn they hadn’t tried yet but had rave (as rave as Yelp in Elm Glenn could get) reviews.

Patrick ceded the ordering to David who practically ordered everything on the menu.

The plates kept coming, appetizers, soup, entrees, saki, fortune cookies. They were going big.

After dinner, David announced they should stop at the store for ice cream for dessert. Patrick chuckled, how David could eat another bite after that feast was beyond him. Piling into the car, Patrick said, “Okay, we can stop on the way home.”

Halfway home Patrick felt it, deep in his abdomen. Stomach cramps, shit. He started to shuffle in his seat, willing the feeling he had deep in his belly to go away.

It wasn’t happening and before he knew it, it was out. He was really hoping this would be a silent but not deadly situation. No such luck.

“Oh, my fucking god! Really Patrick?”

**********

The new apartment was blissfully quiet. No Ray interruptions, the only sound was the air conditioner humming.

“We have the whole place to ourselves, finally, wanna get creative?” David smirked.

“What did you have in mind?” Patrick smirked right back.

David went over to the kitchen table. He had brought a grocery bag when he showed up after work. He pulled out a can of whipped cream he bought at the local grocery. “I was thinking we could try something new?” His eyebrows went comically to the top of his forehead.

“David, you dirty, dirty boy, yeah, I definitely am ready for something new.” Patrick moaned.

They managed to get to the bedroom and strip with the lights off. David proceeded to stripe the whip cream from Patrick’s neck to his balls in big swirls. He wanted nothing more than to lick the sweet cream from Patrick and make him moan. David started at Patrick’s neck and was working his way down, sucking on his nipples when he pulled back. The cream tasted kind of funny, maybe it was a body chemistry thing, he kept going, working his way down.

Nope, no, this was definitely not working. He reached over to turn on the light. The whipped cream was bright green and apparently expired. “Oh, my fucking god!”

******

They had just climbed down off the mountain. “David it wasn’t a mountain, it was just a hill really.”

But David was not having it, his now newly minted fiancé had proposed after a hike up a mountain and he was calling it a mother fucking mountain. “Patrick, we hiked up a mountain and your proposed. This is our story forever and ever amen!”

After unloading the bags and deciding a shower was in order (after the arduous mountain climb) the new fiancés fell into bed laughing. David kept turning his hand over and over to admire his new four golden rings.

Patrick had been waiting all day to get his hands and cock all over David. He laid David out on the bed, straddling him, with his hands bracketed on his shoulders. “I can’t wait to make you my husband.” He growled.

“Do it Patrick, make me yours.”

Patrick proceeded to ruin his new fiancé. He sucked a hickey into every available space he could mark and what he wasn’t sucking a hickey into he was bruising David with his fingers.

His mouth was alternating sucking on David’s balls and licking up his shaft. David was moaning, “Patrick, please, suck me now, I need you, I’m so close baby.”

So, Patrick did exactly what his fiancé wanted, he took David down in one solid swallow. Patrick pulled back and took a breath to go back down when David came like a freight train right up Patrick’s nose.

“Oh, my fucking god!”

**********

David was finishing at the store. It was Patrick’s afternoon off. David had worked Patrick up all day, bending over to dust, shuttering touches as he walked by, small cheek pecks, pulling Patrick at his belt loops. He knew David was doing all of this on purpose to get him riled up.

Patrick was finally at his apartment alone, he reached into his nightstand for the hypoallergenic lube they had recently acquired from a vendor that was expanding her line from skincare to more discreet products.

Patrick was working his cock hard watching the Cocky Boys video he had brought up on his laptop.

The top on the video had the likeness of David, tall, dark, stubble and a big cock. Surprisingly, not as big as David, but he the guy was hung, nonetheless.

Feeling no guilt whatsoever, Patrick was focusing on the noises from the video. Fuck this was hot. He was imagining David rimming him like the guy in the video when he heard David at the foot of the bed, “Oh, my fucking god!”


End file.
